I know the feeling. October arrived weeks ago. Horror Christmas is just around the dark foreboding corner. All you want to do is make like zombie-Missy-Elliott and 'get your spook on'. But it's the end of October, your pumpkin's carved at home and you're sat at lunch with little under an hour to scare yourself silly. Who has time to wade through the good, the bad and the just plain ugly of horror to decide what to watch? Not me of course! (ahem)
You need something fast, frightening and quicker than your microwave meal for one (no shame, they low-key bang).
Well, fret no longer my little gremlins, these shorts will spice up your lunch break. Getting right under your skin to curdle your blood in the time it takes to wolf down a meal deal.
(CW: Blood, gore, anxiety. Maybe watch these after you've eaten. Gory stories and all that...)
In no particular order...
1. The Cat With Hands (writ./dir. Robert Morgan)
A classic for horror fans, but there's joy in the rewatch. It lets you appreciate the beauty. Admire the craft. Writer-director Robert Morgan's The Cat With Hands is a film which lasts only 4 minutes but stays in your head a whole lot longer. Two guys venture into the woods to find the titular fabled creature who lives in a well...well, that's what they think.
There's a recurring folk song, an ASMR vibe to the sound design and a typically spooky forest setting.The slightly-off dubbing and jittery stop-motion plunges us back into my favourite landscape: uncanny valley. And all this makes for an unsettling watch. But it's the concept that gets you. Trust me, after this you'll never pet a cat in the street, ever again.
Watch The Cat With Hands here on YouTube
2. The Blue Door (dir. Paul Taylor | writ. Megan Pugh & Ben Clark)
Okay, if you're hoping to become a carer or a nurse or enter into any kind of selfless profession where helping strangers in their homes is a given, DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM.
In this slow-burn, two-hander of a horror, Gemma Whelan gives a crazy-good performance as Claire, a caring nurse whose kindly instincts might just be her downfall. As the film's description says, Claire opens "the door to her new job. But maybe some doors are best left shut..." The Blue Door is a masterclass in pacing. It's incredibly tense, with virtually a 9 minute stretch of silence before a terrifying pay off. The realism of this world paired with Whelan's naturalistic performance is what makes this probably the scariest film on this list. And sure, there's symbolism to be found within its story, but at its heart The Blue Door is a simple but spooky concept, which is key to captivating horror shorts. No wonder it was BAFTA nominated.
Watch The Blue Door here on YouTube
3. The Fall (writ./dir. Jonathan Glazer)
A woodland. One tree begins to move - shake, even. Vigorously; vibrating with intensity - like a volcano about to erupt. It's a tense uneasy feeling that lasts the entire 7 minute run time of Under the Skin director Jonathan Glazer's new short about one man, one rope and one heck of a fall. This is pure uncanny-valley nightmare fuel, marrying a masked mob with no dialogue and a tense minimalist score by Mica Levi. Recently shown in an unscheduled slot on BBC 2, The Fall caused quite the stir on Twitter, and rightly so. Words won't do it justice, so just watch it. But sleep with locked doors and a light on, afterwards. (This article talks about Glazer's inspiration for making The Fall - namely, Nazism and Trump.)
Watch The Fall here on BBC iPlayer
4. Oh God (dir. Tom Kingsley | writ. Jamie Demetriou)
If making a horror script scary is hard, then imagine balancing the (elusive and often disappointing) 'comedy-horror'. The two sound like complete opposites. But both genres elicit the most uncontrollable and genuine responses from their audiences: laughter and fear. Comedy can make us vulnerable. Sometimes it means the scares can pack bigger punches; we're like sitting ducks, hit by a scare we never saw coming, all because we'd been chuckling away.
Genius of our age and ever-flowing-font of funniness, actor-writer Jamie Demetriou taps into this concept with an 11 minute film made for Sky's Comedy Shorts. On the surface, Oh God is an absurd body-horror harking back to Cronenberg. But it has themes of doubles and being replaced, social anxiety and feeling invisible. Demetriou himself said it's really about feeling stressed out - perhaps the most relatable and inescapable horror of all. It's darkly comic, there's stunning visuals and gore to make you gag. How are you not sold already?
AND, if like me you're a Stath Lets Flats fan you'll enjoy regular collaborators Natasia Demetriou and Ellie White killing it, as per. Oh God is a perfect critique of British mentality: keep calm and carry on...even if you're turning into a car.
Watch Oh God here on YouTube
5. Right Place, Wrong Tim (writ./dir. Eros Vlahos)
Take a gaudy, 'filmed in front of a live audience' sit com set and add a splash of clone on clone violence. Right Place, Wrong Tim is a uniquely surreal experience. If you're creeped out by things like Don't Hug Me I'm Scared then it's time you met it's older brother. Set in a set - yes, you read that right - for Channel 4's clock-maker sitcom, director Eros Vlahos plays with 4th wall breaks and camera techniques to show the real world vs the TV world. By blurring the lines between the two, Vlahos makes us question the passive nature of consuming entertainment. It feels like a prediction of what The X Factor will be in ten years time, touching on the compliance of the audience in sustaining popular but morally questionable TV shows. I mean, it's a ticking clock - okay I'll stop with the time puns.
Right Place, Wrong Tim is a fun, blood-drenched time-loop with awesome turns from Adam Buxton and Ella Purnell, plus layered performances from Asa Butterfield as the titular Tim and his Tims. It's a comical delivery of a scary premise that will have you randomly chiming 'Did someone say Tim?' in every future convo.
Watch Right Place, Wrong Tim here on YouTube through Random Acts
6. The Sermon (writ./dir. Dean Puckett)
Grab your goats, assemble an angry mob and sprinkle in some religion - it's folk horror time! Putting the hallowed into Halloween, my favourite sub-genre of horror is famously the hardest to pin down. You've got the 'Unholy Trinity' of Blood on Satan's Claw, The Wickerman and The Witchfinder General. Plus modern classics like the near-flawless The Borderlands, Netflix's Apostle and the trippy-but-traumatising Midsommar. But if you've not got time to sink into the pool of feature-length folk fun, then feast your eyes on this 11 minute wonder! Dean Puckett brings you The Sermon, straight out of the 1970s with an LGBT+ flare. A preacher's daughter rebels in an isolated parish ruled by religion. There's a stunning central performance from Molly Casey, a synthy score evocative of Tangerine Dream's treatment of Friedkin's Sorcerer, and frame after frame which feels like a carefully crafted painting. As often found in folk horror, The Sermon's themes are timely and speak to the state of the world today. Allegorical and atmospheric - this one's a special gem.
Watch The Sermon here on YouTube
And check out Dean Puckett's super short straight 8, Satan's Bite, here
*WILDCARD* Sexy Torture Chamber (writ./dir. Hazel Hayes & Sammy Paul)
It's hilarious, clever and bloody. Watch it. Then watch everything else by these talented people.
Watch Sexy Torture Chamber here on YouTube
Thanks for reading!
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