Maybe this says a lot about how my mind works but I was not shooketh by The Perfection. For me, there was nothing surprising about Netflix's mystery/horror/thriller hybrid other than the lack of trigger warnings (TW for this post: mentions of suicide, self harm, child abuse, violence).
I’m not talking about gore, trust me I can’t get enough of heads being hammered in and fingers crushed by glorified mangles (if you know, you know). But when it comes to suicide and self harm, those are different matters entirely. People don't appreciate sudden flashes of wrist slashing. If the internet can slip in a line of content warnings to prime viewers, and broadcasters have to disclose 'upsetting scenes', then why shouldn't Netflix? Come on, it's 2019, think of those all-important view stats if nothing else. Another surprise? How tone-deaf this movie is. Disguising itself as a reaction to #MeToo when in actuality, as this great Vox article expresses, it is no more than a wolf in sheep's clothing. Racist and regressive, to put it simply. Aside from just how darn problematic The Perfection may be, it also fails on a basic level: it's not a very good film.
 |
| LEFT: Twitter raving about The Perfection, RIGHT: Me wondering if we watched the same movie... |
To quote an overused phrase: I'm a simple gal; I see Logan Browning and I click. I'd even submit an email address. But I did not sign up for what The Perfection turned out to be. Admittedly, that sentence sounds promising but, like The Perfection, it only leads to one dead-end street: Disappointment Avenue.
So the basic premise is Alison Williams (Get Out) and Logan Browning (Dear White People and The Bratz Movie #throwback) are rival cellists. The former was forced to ditch her passion, as a teenager, to care for her sick mum and tick the mandatory 'I spent time in an asylum' backstory box. But, look out Shanghai coz now she's only bloody back! Why? To visit her overly-familiar mentors and stare at Logan Browning (really, there's a LOT of 'look how pyscho I am' type staring). When the pair play a duet at their old school's event, their chemistry is off the charts and they pluck away (get it, cellos?) at a romance. Now this part I liked, very much. The connection was palpable, there was a sense that both women had secrets and warped motives. And I shipped them, obvs. The montage sequence of the duet and their 'getting together' was really nicely done. I was actually gripped, hoping to continue with the sumptuous visuals and the characters' ambiguity. Then, the film says 'haha you were enjoying this movie?' and goes pear - no banana - shaped. On purpose. Because it's clever. Except it's not, because it creates over-the-top caricatures of characters and expects you to connect with them as humans when they act like anything but. Ahem.
 |
| Sidenote: anyone else get flashbacks to that thumb moment in The Robber Bride? |
Now, can we talk about tone for a hot minute? I have nothing against films which shift and flicker between tones or even those which forge out their own - but it’s an art form. You can’t just throw lots in and hope for the best. Like me at a buffet, it seems The Perfection wanted it all. Melodrama with a side of romance and incongruous music, regressive revenge tropes and mystery with hammy cliche dialogue then, for desert, I’ll have sudden flashbacks of child abuse and off-screen dismembering. And a tap water. Which is another issue. The 'gore and visceral violence' promised by marketing and social media is either not shown or just plain comical, thanks to the cringe-worthy dialogue and drawn out ‘this is my evil guy speech’ scenes it's sandwiched between. Now, I suppose that could lead you to see this as another Wish Upon - a 'horror' so bad it is genuinely hilarious and worth watching. But no. Sorry. The Perfection isn't hilarious, it's preposterous. Not so much 'haha' but 'ha-who on Earth saw this and said: yep, that's perfect'? If you see past the shock-value and the obvious 'twists', The Perfection is bland and, towards the end, boring. It is a film devoid of subplots or themes or subtleties - which is fine if your central story is gripping. But, unfortunately, it is not. It's just problematic. My overarching response? Apathy. And disappointment.
 |
| Logan is literally me during this movie |
So why am I so invested in a movie I didn't like? Well, because of the potential! The concept is interesting: obsession, jealousy, revenge, two highly intelligent female characters engaged in a dance of wits and shifting motives. This could've been great. I loved the romance between Alison Williams and Logan Browning. I even liked some of the shots - before they go to the chapel and everyone drowns in obnoxious orange light. What bugs me most (ha get it) is the assumption of the writers and director that the audience must be as thick as a post. Yes, we turn now to the famous 'twists' which according to Twitter will blow your mind.
I hate to be That Quibbler, but I nailed the 'twists'. Saw 'em a mile off. I mean, all you had to do was think: why didn’t Alison Williams put up more of a fight to stay on the bus? Duh, coz she wanted out. Why didn’t we see the ending of the break-in scene with Logan and her taser? Uh, coz it would’ve ruined the ‘surprise reveal’ that she's a goodie. Why did we see Alison Williams watching Logan Browning wake up? Cos she’s been plotting! (The real question is why didn't Williams play it more convincingly? A complete 180 would've certainly suited the melodramatic tone and she did it in Get Out just fine!) Why didn't we see the bug on Logan's jacket? I could go on. It just felt so blimming obvious. The one shock I did get was Evil Guy’s out of focus nude catwalk to the camera. That sure woke me up.
Now I’m not saying that to enjoy a twist you need to be genuinely surprised. Though it would certainly help, it is possible to enjoy the film-making or the subtlety of the performances. But not here. No The Perfection wants to hold your hand and guide you to each flashback with an irritating ‘rewind’ effect that feels long AF and actually signals that a twist is coming, thus watering down the ‘shock’ that follows. If you think that was wordy, you've not suffered through this movie's dialogue. Like the film-making, for the first act it's alright. Then we get onto a bus and are force-fed a tasty cocktail of poor delivery and clunky writing, mmhmm, my favourite. It's topped off with a poorly-cast Evil Guy spewing a monotone monologue that'd make a great stand-in for a lullaby. Because it will send you to sleep.
There's a quote or saying or commonly held belief that the best music makes use of breaks that allow us to appreciate the melody. You need balance. Light and shade. Maybe that’s what The Perfection lacked. The more crazy things you throw at an audience the more farcical and absurd things become, which is fine if you let us breathe and digest this or, at the very least, keep it consistent. The twists might be punchier had we been given time to absorb them. To mull over the character's motivations, the reliability of their perspectives and the consequences of their actions. I dunno. I just felt majorly disappointed in a film with a queer romance and an interesting premise which ended up drowning in a vomit of creaky dialogue and lacklustre performances. Maybe it's just Netflix's new fragrance: the stench of a wasted opportunity.
Oh, and it's not scary either.
Thanks for reading.
I'm entitled to my own opinion and so are you. Let me know your thoughts below.
Comments
Post a Comment